While making the Top 5 Free Online Skateboarding Games
list, I came across a lot
of terrible free online games. These are so bad, I just had to share them. You know you want to try them out - don't worry, they're free! But the time and brain cells you'll lose ... that's the real
California Beach Skateboarding 2
From Finland! This game is horrible, but you really need to see it. In California Beach Skateboarding 2, you first off choose between two skaters to play as: Eddie Murphy or Saddam. Seriously. Then, your skater rides along very slowly, while you push different keys to make him ollie and do tricks. All this set to glorious elevator music. Finland is an amazing country.
In Skate Thug, you ride along on your skateboard, holding your pistol out to blow away any person in your way. And sometimes you have to ollie over stuff, or people's remains. The guys on pogo sticks are the worst, because you have to shoot their arms off before they'll die, just like in real life. Skate Thug is weirdly fun. It's a terrible, stupid game. You want to play it.
Skate around the rooftops of the city, ollying from rooftop to rooftop. You get to pick your character, or build your own from the parts of the skater characters. The game is strangely complicated, for being lame to play! As you ollie, you have to use the side to side arrows to make sure you land flatly. That's about it.
The best part is that the designer of this game is a really cool guy! He's made several other games - check them out!
Skating Down S**t Street
Yep. This one is pure genius. You guide your skater down the street, trying to dodge the poop that's all over the road. It's a ridiculous game, complete with exciting rock music. The webpage that hosts the game is packed with ads and ugliness.
Skate around from screen to screen, watching your skater from above, and pick up money. That's it. You have to work pretty hard to get hurt; it's more of a race against time. Sk8park has 3 levels of difficulty, and it worth a look, though it's a Liquid Arcade game, so you have to put up with all kinds of junk around the game screen!
Stuart's Extreme Skateboarding
It's Stuart Little, the mouse, riding his fingerboard along the sidewalk! It's cute, and worth at least one play, but that's about it! Basically, ride along the sidewalk and try to ollie over obstacles without whipping out. While looking cute.
Pick either a boy or girl skater to play, and then ride along, trying to ollie over stuff. Sound familiar? Apparently, this is what a lot of flash skateboarding game designers think skaters spend most of their time doing. This game is painfully boring. Don't play it.
But now you are going to play it, aren't you? Now that I said it's horrible. I know how this works ... But remember, I warned you fair and square!
Guess what you do? Can you guess? You skate along, and ollie over stuff! YEAH! It's pretty insane. What sets Stan Skates apart from the other games is that in THIS game, you skate from right to left. All of the other games go from left to right.
And, you can collect little bubbles that let you pull off a single kickflip. To get over stuff. That's all.
Try it out. You know you want to. It's so very very unique...
Skate or Die 2
Skate or Die is a pretty impressive game, for being made decades ago, but this is only a little chunk of the game. And it's presented in a very harsh format - you have to wait about 3 years for it to load, and then you get to enjoy the game on a little square. It's pretty impressive.
Game Gecko Skateboarding
This game is painfully boring. The music sounds like the demo on an old Casio keyboard. In the game, you guide your gecko along in front of hemp shops and stores selling "old crap", trying to get points while doing "tricks". Game Gecko needs to get run over. Don't worry, he probably has car insurance.